


Kataomoi: Red Side

by RunaHikari



Series: Kataomoi [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Angst, Completed, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-26 03:55:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12548272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunaHikari/pseuds/RunaHikari
Summary: Disclaimer : Yuusei MatsuiHe was aware of his feelings for his bestfriend yet he chose to ignore it. He kept on an act as his friend pretending his ever growing feelings were non existent. He was going out with Manami, a girl he claimed to loved. The path he chose leading him to lost the one he love the most and now he......





	Kataomoi: Red Side

**Author's Note:**

> This is second and last part of Kataomoi series. At first I planned to write Kayano and Okuda's side too but when I told my friend, she said no need. So I thought it over again. Well, it will be boring to read the same thing over and over so I scrapped the idea.
> 
> WARNING! There are a tiny bit part of karumana here.
> 
> "Eeh? Did you change your ship from karunagi to karumana?"  
> No, of course not. I still likes karunagi XD
> 
> "Please write longer chapter" for those who request it. This series is the results although I am not sure if I can do the same with multiple chapters one.
> 
> Then finally... Please enjoy Kataomoi: Red Side

"Nagisa? Nagi..."

Karma shook the lifeless body getting no response.

"Aa...AAAAAAAA!!"

That day Karma never knew that Nagisa will leave him. His wedding day turned into Nagisa's death. Even now he still can feel the warmth of his body that slowly turned cold.

"Karma, why you didn't switch the light on?" A familiar gentle voice called him.

The lamp switch on brightened the dark room. There Karma sit on the bedside. Though the room has turn bright, his mood didn't. Since that day not even the brightest sunlight can brightened his heart.

Manami sit beside him touch his hand gently.

"Karma, dinner is ready"

"I am not hungry"

"You have been skipping meal lately. Its not good for your health"

"I am not hungry"

"I know but at least please eat even if just a little"

"I said I am not hungry!!" Shout Karma startling his wife.

"...I know you sad, Karma. But you are not the only one who is sad"

With that Manami stand up and walk out of the room. After Manami gone, Karma burried his face in his hands. The days he spent with Nagisa still fresh in his mind as if it was yesterday.

Back then in middle school, He was always stand out in class. He stay above his peers. His smart brain and nonchalant manner make him hard to get any friend. He started to notice the blue head when he was reading magazine about upcoming Sonic Ninja movie. He happened to like the director so he called out to him. Since then they often hang out together. Karma enjoyed his company but there is something inside Nagisa that he took as a threat but he had no idea what it is so they start to drifting apart. As if fate tied them, they were in the same class again. Thanks to that class and that yellow octopus as teacher, they repaired their friendship and grown closer than before. They still spent time together even after graduation.

"Geez Karma, can you please stop teasing me?" Said Nagisa with slight blush on his cheeks.

"Ahaha sorry, Nagisa but you are too fun to tease" said Karma indicating that he will keep like that.

Since it is fun to tease him, Karma kept doing it whenever he got the chance.

"Ugh...is it that fun?"

"You know that you are the only one I can tease without holding back" smile Karma then gulping down his beer.

"Only me? Why?" He ask curiously.

"Hmm I wonder why..." Said Karma staring at Nagisa.

He knows why but he kept silent. Karma has been getting dreams about Nagisa in middle school and it was no ordinary dreams. Yes, it was wet dreams. He often dream of Nagisa stripping his clothes revealing his fair skin, or a dream when he nibbled on his pink nipples, kissing him, make him moaned his name with his soft voice, messing with his body, make him scream in pleasure. There is no way a normal friend would have dream about his friend of the same gender like that.

Nagisa being Nagisa, he was unaware of Karma's thoughts about him. He was observant but when it comes about himself, he is dense to the point oblivious. He didn't mad at him no matter how much he tease him. He is kind even towards those who tried to harm him. Sometimes it irritates him but that is just how Nagisa is. A complete opposite of him.

"Should I told him this feeling of mine?" Wonder Karma.

"What will be his reaction if I told him?"

Nagisa not easily fazed by anything. He wonder will he be shocked? Or will he just smile like usual? Or will be be disgusted? No, that is the least he want to happen. If Nagisa disgusted at him then he will avoiding him. The friendship the have built will be destroyed. They will be just stranger. Karma don't want that.

° ° °

"Okuda, please go out with me" Karma decide to ask her out.

"Huh? Okay, where are we going?"

A classic misunderstanding line coming out from her mouth.

"No, I don't mean that. I mean it romantically"

"Eh? Huh?" Okuda blushed.

"I have been like you since middle school. Will you go out with me?"

This is not a lie. Among the girls he talked to, it is easy to talk to her aside from Rio. At first he think of it since it will be interesting to add her potion for his pranks. But then he start to get attracted to her. Then what about Nagisa? Karma draw the line for himself so they will stay as friend.

"Ah uh...if...if you don't mind being with me" answer Okuda.

"Then do you mind if I call you Manami?"

"Eh? Ah I...don't mind" she blush again.

"Manami" he smile.

Manami blush more.

"Hmm? Won't you call my name, Manami? Of course without suffix"

"Eh? Na name...Ka...Kar...ma..." She blush as the voice gotten smaller.

"Hmm?" Smile Karma.

"Ka...Karma..." She called his name with completely red face.

"Kar...ma" the way she called his name for the first time remind him of when he ask Nagisa to do the same after their first fight.

Then Karma leaned closer to her and captured her lips.

° ° °

"Nagisa, I am going out with Manami" announce Karma.

"Ah, congratulation, Karma" congratulate Nagisa with a smile.

"Thanks" said Karma.

"This is for the best. I won't lose him nor our friendship" thought Karma.

"Hey, what about we going out to celebrate?" Offer Karma.

"Ah, sorry but I can't besides wouldn't it better for you two to celebrate it?" Reject Nagisa.

"Ah well that is...the truth is when I ask her out I was too happy when she agreed and kissed her on the spot. After that it becomes awkward" explain Karma.

"...you want me to intermediate?"

"Uh well with you around I think it will be less awkward"

"Maybe but Karma its your date and there is no way I will come between you two. Its weird to bring a friend on your date. I don't want to be kicked by a horse you know"

"You are right. Then do you know which restaurant served the best food? What do you think she like?" Ask Karma seemed couldn't calm down.

"Geez Karma, calm down. Just planned it like usual"

"Like usual? Its my first date with Manami! Like hell I want it to be usual! I want it to be special!" Karma snapped, startling the young teacher.

If it is not special there won't be mean anything. Manami is his girlfriend and she must give him something special that he won't do to other people. This also to differentiate how he treat her and Nagisa, to make his heart remember that he choose Manami not Nagisa. "It is wrong to fall in love with Nagisa" is what he keep remind himself.

"Sorry, Karma, I didn't mean that. I just..."

"Just what? You don't have someone special to you. There is no way you will understand how I feel" cut Karma.

"......yeah, you are right. There is no way I will understand because I will never be special for that person like Okuda-san for you" said Nagisa, looking down at his lap, clenching his pants.

Seeing his best friend fall silence, Karma realise his mistake. He has hurt his feelings. Never he saw Nagisa this sad, not even when her mother abused him. He always shows his smiling face as if nothing happens. Then he must be really loves this person is what Karma thought.

"Nagi..."

"I am sorry, Karma, I guess you had better ask about this to Maehara. I am sure he will give better answer"said Nagisa with a wry smile.

Then Nagisa excuse himself leaving Karma alone. Karma burried his face in his hands then he ruffled his own hair.

"What the hell I am saying?"

He just hurt the person important to him. Also judging from Nagisa's reaction, did he in love with someone? It is the first time he heard it? Why Nagisa never told him? Who is the person Nagisa likes?

That night Karma called Nagisa and apologise to him. Then he try to dig who is this lucky person.

"Karma..." Sigh Nagisa in defeat.

"What?"

"No, its nothing"

"So is it Koro-sensei?"

"What if its him?"

"......you are...serious?"

Sure Nagisa look up to that yellow octopus. But could it that he become a teacher to chase after his shadow? It isn't just a mere of respect and admiration?

"...what do you think, Karma?"

"......Nagisa, he is gone"

"Yeah, I know"

"Even if he is here, both of you are men"

Yes, the biggest problem is both of them are males. Even if he is still alive there is no way they can be together. Moreover, Koro-sensei is head over heels toward Kayano's sister, Yukimura-sensei.

"I know"

"...Nagisa......"

"I know that but its just... when I realise it I already in love with that person. It is an impossible love. I am aware of it "

"......"

" Ah but I am trying to move on now. It is hard but I am trying it"

"Is that so..."

"Yeah..."

Nagisa is giving up on his love just like him. Since now he know that Nagisa is gay should he confess to him? Then what about Manami? Won't it hurt her? Doesn't that means that he just take her as Nagisa's replacement? Even if they broke up and he end up confessing to Nagisa, will he accept his love?

Nagisa is kind. He will surely empathize with Manami and feel sorry for her. At worst he will be disappointed of Karma for toying with her feeling. That girl, she really in love with him. He do not want Nagisa to hate him.

° ° °

Lately Karma noticed that the blue head start to call Kayano by her real name, Akari. Are they in relationship? Then why he never told him? He is his bestfriend, isn't he?

"Hmm~ what's this? We are friends, aren't we? Then why you never tell me?" Karma attack Nagisa with those words after Nagisa told him about Kayano and him.

"Sorry,Karma. We are being busy with our jobs lately and barely have time to caught up" reason Nagisa.

"That's right but despite that I do tell you about Manami, didn't I? Aren't you being unfair here?" He said, jealousy building up inside him.

"N no, that's not..."

"Or is it only me who think that we are friend?"

The gaze Karma sent to Nagisa make him shiver. He knows this gaze. That one time when they have fight for the first time Karma also giving him that look.

"That was not the case, Karma. I also think of you as friend but...its just...I don't know how should I tell it to you..." Said Nagisa.

Friend? Ah, that's right they are friends not lovers. He have no right to be jealous of him. Then he should talk to him as a normal friend.

"What? You can just say it casually you know"

"I...I can't say it just like that. I am not you, Karma besides...won't you tease me when you know it?" He said

Karma give him a blank look then it quickly change into a mischievous grin.

"Of course I will!" He exclaimed.

"That is why I hesitate"

"No no no, at times like this you should should announce it "Karma, I am going out with Akari" with blushing cheeks while standing and looking at me straight on the eye. Then people around us gathered their attention to you" said Karma.

"Wha! There is no way I will do that!" Shout Nagisa with embarrassed face.

Karma laugh. Nagisa noticed that he attracting attention and shrunk.

"So how far you have been going with her?" Ask Karma with a grinning face.

"Umm...well...that is..." Nagisa playing with his fingers, looking down at his own lap with flustered face.

"Hmm? What? Could it be you have sleep with her?" Guess Karma half joking.

With a poof Nagisa's face turn as red as boiled crab.

"........."

"Eh? Seriously?"

Karma couldn't believe what he just heard. Nagisa slept with her? He quickly hide his shock and reverted back to his composure self.

Nagisa nod shyly.

"Nagisa, I never thought that you are a pervert. I guess you really are a man" said Karma with straight face.

"Wha what do you mean with that!? Of course I am a man!"

Yes, Nagisa also a man. Of course he have desire to do that stuff with his loved one. It is not like Karma didn't understand that.

° ° °

Manami washing dishes that they used for dinner in the kitchen of Karma's apartment. Karma walk to her and hug her from behind.

"Karma, you startled me. What is it?"

"Hmm nothing" he said absentmindedly.

Nothing, there is nothing. He don't feel anything. His mind wandering to a certain blue head. He hug her closer and kiss the back of her neck.

"Karma?"

Karma's hand wandering to her chest and start to grope it. His other hand and slipped inside her long skirt, feeling her thigh, caressing it.

"Huh? Wait, Karma" Manami panicked.

Karma continue to touch her as his mind full of Nagisa.

"Ah...Karma, no..." Manami struggle but Karma did not pay it in mind.

"Fu...ahn...ah...stop..."

Karma let go of her and turned her chin to him, kissing her. Soon her legs turned into jelly. Karma carried her to his bedroom and laid her on the bed. He kicked the door close and continue where he left.

"What the hell I did?" Said Karma sit half naked on his bed. His lower half covered with blanket. Beside him is  his girlfriend sleeping soundly. He just did it with her while imagining someone else. He is the worst.

"Nn..." She stirred up.

Manami trying to find her glassess.

"Here" Karma hand her, her glassess.

"Ah, thank you"

She accept it and put it on. Then she look at Karma's face and the incident last night start to pop up in her mind. Her face turned as red as tomato. She just realised the state she is in and quickly covered her body with blanket.

"Ah uh..."

She is panicked and he knows that. Now that he done it, he must take responsibility.

"Manami, let's get married"

"Yeah?" She said, confused.

"I will take responsibility. I will marry you"

Drip drip

Tears dropping from her eyes.

"Ah, umm I am sorry. I was confused. I...I thought you..."

"Won't take responsibility?" Continue Karma.

" I am sorry..."

"No need to apologise. I know thqt you are not the kind of woman who sleep around and once we did it, I must take responsibility. Besides you are afraid, aren't you?"

Manami clenched her hands and nod, "I am sorry"

Sure, she will afraid of him leaving her after taking her virginity. It is not uncommon for that to happen in society.

"Let's get married" propose Karma again.

"Yes"

This is a good chance to start over. Karma planned to use it. He will build a family with Manami while locking his feelings for Nagisa.

° ° °

Karma finished delivering the invitation. He noticed that Nagisa's response is slightly odd. He thought that he may be surprised that he will get married this fast.

On their wedding day the ceremony proceed smoothly. Manami looked prettier than usual. It is their happy day.

Then Karma noticed that Nagisa running out. Kayano chased after him. What is it? What happened? Did they fight? Karma feel a hand squeezing his arm. He look at the owner and met with her gaze.

"Ah, that is right. It doesn't matter. After all this day is their best day" thought Karma.

Then he smile at her, assuring her. Not far, loud crash sound can be heard. It was from the direction where Nagisa and Kayano went to. They quickly go to that direction. A scream and crying voice make them hastened the pace.

The scene is horrible. The truck crashed onto a nearby pole, leaving behind tire trails. There on the asphalt laid a familiar figure and a woman they knew well crying. Karma quickly rushed to them. Nagisa laid there with blood all over his body. Pool of blood on the grey asphalt. Karma carefully lift Nagisa's head and hug him in his arms.

"Nagisa? Nagisa! Wake up, Nagisa!"

On the background there are voices asking to call ambulance. One of them then took their phone and call for help. Karma keep calling for Nagisa's name. His hands quivering. His eyes start to feel hot. Never in his wildest imagination that he imagine Nagisa in this state.

Nagisa slowly opened his eyes. He raised his hand to touch Karma's cheeks.

"Kar...ma...I...lo...ve..."

The last words gone as Nagisa breath his last breath away.

° ° °

"What was the last word you want to say, Nagisa?" Ask Karma in front of a grave.

"Did you try to say that you love me?"

Now that Nagisa was gone there is no way to confirm it. No matter how much he stare at his grave, Nagisa won't be awake from his eternal slumber.

"I am a coward. I should have ask you out when I got the chance. Who cares what people think. Who cares with societies. You are the most important person to me yet I let go of your hand" cry Karma.

"Its my fault... It is my fault that you are gone"

For hours he stand in front of Nagisa's grave. Regret of being a coward, regret for not keeping him at his side, regret of not noticing anything and regret for not snatching the chance while he have it. Then Karma kneel in front of the grave and kiss it.

"See you, Nagisa"

Karma walked out of the graveyard. No matter how long it passed after Nagisa's death, his heart still trapped at that time, the day he lost him. He didn't say it in front of Nagisa's grave but since that day his life changed. His marriage with Manami didn't go well. Two months after their wedding, Manami filed a divorce letter which he accept. When asked why she told him that she knows Karma only took her as subtitute of Nagisa but she choose to pretend not knowing. It was simply because she loved him. But know that Nagisa was gone, she knows that she had no chance to win against him. That she will never get Karma's heart.

He is a horrible person. Karma knew that. He hurt Manami's heart for his own selfishness. He knows her feelings for him yet he took advantage of her. And he also hurts Nagisa. He was the closest person with him yet he did not notice it. He was too occupied by his own feelings. If he not then it will be different but that also not necessarily true since at middle school he also did nothing while knowing that Nagisa was abused by his own mother. It relieved him that Nagisa and his mother's relationship improved. He saw him smiling while talking about his family that started to live together as a whole. He often told him how happy he is. But now he can no longer see his smile.

"It is painful to keep on living in the world without you, Nagisa" thought Karma while looking at the clear sky which colour remind him of Nagisa.

He walked down the street with no destination. From distance a car speeding straight at him but Karma only stand there not intending to move away. He close his eyes as he wait for the impact. After that he didn't feel anything. He feels light and weird. He opened his eyes. He saw the car hit the tree nearby while a body of red haired young man laid on the street with liquid redder than his hair make a pool around him. He stared down at the sight of people gathering around the site and ambulance come carrying his body.

"Huh... Am I..."

"Karma"

A nostalgic voice that he missed so much called him. He look at the source and then a familiar smiling face greet him.

"Did you come to pick me up?" He ask with a smile on his face.

"Yeah"

Karma take the hand that reached out to him. He pulled him in a hug. He feels Nagisa's body stiffened for a moment then relaxed. Feeling this, Karma smiled.

"I have things that I must say to you"

"I know. I heard you"

He feels Nagisa returned the hug.

"We can talk more about it"

Karma felt hands touching his cheeks. There Nagisa smiling at him.

"after all we have eternity..."

Karma returned the smile and their foreheads touched. Two astral figure slowly dispersed in the air leaving trail of glittering lights.


End file.
